“I’m afraid of a lot of things, but mostly, most sincerely, I am afraid of being completely
unraveled by you, and you finding nothing you want in here.”
thinking about gi hun and sangwoo being childhood best friends. thinking about gi hun looking up to sangwoo because he was everything gi hun didn’t think he was - clever and successful and making his family proud. thinking about how this admiration never made gi hun bitter, and instead just made him proud. thinking about how blindly happy he was to see sangwoo again, how much he still believed in him, and thinking about how the dawning realisation that sangwoo wasn’t who he thought he was still didn’t make gi hin turn on him. thinking about how gi hun’s admiration just made sangwoo guilty and resentful. thinking about how deeply gi hun was stung by each of sangwoo‘s betrayals, because they were friends, because surely this wasn’t sangwoo? thinking about how gi hun personified the role sangwoo was forced to play and thinking about how sangwoo personified everything gi hun wished he was and in the end it was these roles that unravelled their friendship. thinking about how they are both there to save their families, both feeling like they’ve disappointed their families, both desperate for a second chance. thinking about how they’re foils of each other - sangwoo is the ideal of success that is so quickly revealed to be false and unattainable, and gi hun represents failure and disappointment and the unfairness of the working world. thinking about how gi hun always felt like a failure, always wanted to be like sangwoo, and how it’s revealed that in a world like this, the ideal of success is impossible to attain. thinking about how no matter how corrupt this world can make you, goodness still lies beneath, and that’s why sangwoo killed himself. to give gi hun a better life. to earn forgiveness for his own cruelty. thinking about how his lasts words were about his mom. and thinking about how even as sangwoo lay dying, their childhood dynamic still defined them, and thinking about how despite everything gi hun still sobbed over sangwoo’s corpse because he was still his friend, no matter what. they were supposed to leave together. finally, I’m thinking about how gi hun lived looking up to sangwoo, and sangwoo died looking up to gi hun
